I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize