so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
