Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
