she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
