u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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