Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
