he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
