Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
