He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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