i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
