Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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