Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
