I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
