just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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