he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
