i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize