Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
