You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
