You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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