yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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