You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
