i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think my moral compass just broke
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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