i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
