I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
