What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
