please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
