How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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