How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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