If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
