why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize