Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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