your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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