I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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