Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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