All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
