was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
