well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
