i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
