M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
