4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
dude. I can hear the air.
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