we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
