He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
