I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
