Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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