Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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