i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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