I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
