Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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