Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize