I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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