Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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