Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
