he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
