"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize