Cold hands, warm shart.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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