His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dick very happy bro
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
