I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
