just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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