He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
