She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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