$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
