The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
