sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
