I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
too bad you live with your parents still
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
