I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
nutella sex= disaster
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
